My First 3 miles

I hate running, or atleast I used to. I have a weird lower body- arthritis since age 8 in my knees, and the alignment is all off. As a child, I couldn't run fast, and being a competitive person, I didn't like doing things that I had no chance of winning. Running became a nightmare to me but I ended up playing soccer, managing cross country, and participating in the field events of track and field.
Fast forward to years and years later, and I found myself running in Hotstepper. I liked the runners high and laughed off being the slowest person as I lost 70 pounds. Now, 1.75 years into my new healthy me, I ended up in three Hotsteppers and a High Mini class over four days during Thanksgiving Break. The first two were awesome and I noticed I wasn't nearly as tired as I used to be during Hotsteppers. I was still slow but it was a whole new experience. Then on Sunday, the instructor made the intervals a lot longer and faster. While my body was fine, my mind was like "I CANT DO THIS". I was even on the verge of tears as the group flew so far ahead of me. I was in a pretty bad mood about it during the whole bus ride home to DC. But, I was inspired. Four days in a row of intense physical activity had woken me up.
I joined the Lululemon Run Club for their 6:30pm run and opted for the 3 mile group. I fell to the back of the group, and then my right foot start to hurt. I stopped and decided to quit but then I stretched out my foot, and started again. I swore I would stop at Euclid Street but I made it to Columbia Road, and then 13th, and then U Stret, and then back to Lululemon. No one cared that I was the slowest. Neither did I. Every block I ran was a victory against my own self doubt. I figured out how to pace myself. I kept one foot in front of another, my breathing regulated, and broke through my own person brick wall with barbed wire fence.
I know I can keep running. I even liked it. I think I could even love this.
So, thanks to Lithe for pushing me again. I realized that in my head, I am still the 240 pound person, and I hold myself to the standard that the old me could work out at. Where it was just about showing up that matter. Now, I am stronger, thinner, and have no idea what I can do with my body. I need to learn my new limits so I can keep pushing myself.
And, in the end, I am okay with being the worlds slowest runner if that means I am running.